one time my girlfriend texted me this blurry picture of a thermometer and there was a second where i had a heart attack because i thought it was a pregnancy test but then i came to the realization that we’re lesbians

tagged → #OMG #pls #... #oh tumblr #random


i’m into girls and guys but i’m also really into pasta



isnt it weird how anything can happen in football


"hey gurlfrand let’s swap outfits omg<3"


Yesterday I saw a tweet that said “5SOS are the Green Day of our generation” and I had a good laugh. Green Day are the Green Day of our generation.


nothing lasts forever (except the WinRAR free trial)

tagged → #well #... #random
Track Title: 1D Choruses, feat. Louis Tomlinson


Or: let’s talk about how Louis’ golden voice holds every chorus together


I hate that I take so long to reply. Like, everything distracts me. I can be in the middle of replying and look at my wall like. “Damn.. what kind of white is this? Is this a pale white? Off brand white?”

tagged → #about me #... #sorry



hey, whatever happened to franz ferdinand?

the band, i mean

not the archduke of austria

i know what happened to the archduke of austria

tagged → #pls #history jokes #i can't #...


*has a bag of sour gummy worms* hey you want one *you go to grab a blue-red one* *I immediately stop you* no not that one

tagged → #about me #...


Shaving your legs. More like yoga in the shower with razor blades.

tagged → #well #about me #...


so sorry for my delayed response to this email, i have been very swamped being a confused and frightened idiot who can’t do basic life tasks like respond to her emails

tagged → #about me #...




i’ll be like 40 w/no kids and people will say “aw i’m so sorry for you” and i’ll be like how was the fucking wiggles reunion tour asshole i went to italy last week for fun and didn’t have to hire a sitter

This is a very sad mentality. To think oneself more important than that of progeny is the sign of a failed human life.

so the wiggles concert wasn’t as good as you thought it would be huh

tagged → #about me #oh pls #...



How to know which boy you like:

1. Get very drunk

2. You will cry about the boy you like

Apparently the boy I like is pasta. This comes as no surprise.

Anonymous asked: is harry's name not actually harold? like is harry his full name? i've always been confused on that..


louis is somewhere out there right now whispering “i did it” while shaking his fist in triumph